Words Per Day To Finish On Time: 2080
That’s a nice, round number. If I split my daily writing into four parts, that’s 520 words at a time; if I split it into two parts, that’s 1040 words at a time. I have already proven that I can hit over 2k words in a day, with the help of some co-sprinters. And, as I see things now, speed really is the goal for me with Camp Nanowrimo. I want to not only keep momentum, but build it. I want this project to be moving too fast to stop by the time Camp ends. I’m very sure about what I want to happen as far as writing Bad Guys is concerned.
I’m just not sure that I can make it happen.
I’m also really starting to feel the fragility of the mechanism by which my momentum is being kept up right now, which is the moment-to-moment writing. This isn’t Wolf Gang; this isn’t a stream-of-trope-savvy-consciousness writing exercise that flows freely and easily. Writing Bad Guys is tough going, even when it’s been fun and rewarding; I can find the energy to write it, but I don’t get energy from writing it. I don’t find the ideas for what happens next, really, but what should have happened already. And I think perhaps because I have these set-in-stone ideas of what needs to happen at some point, because I’ve been so fixated on them and also conflicted about them given that I am holding on to them with such rigidity, that this writing process is being compromised in terms of how much flexibility I’m willing to allow myself just for the sake of getting words written. I’m very anxious at the thought that my writing has already started turning to filler, and that I’ll be unable to write myself out of it because the ideas just aren’t coming, and even if I hit the 50k word mark by July 31, it’ll be 50k words that I’d rather forget than build on. I’m afraid that I’m going to feed all of my fuel into an engine doomed to stall. And on top of all of that, I don’t want this to be a repeat of Mark and Jessie, where I had such clear ideas to begin with and never ended up even putting them in the initial draft, and now if I still want those things to happen – which I do – I’m going to have to rewrite the whole fucking thing to make them happen.
I know the words-per-day count that I currently need to hit. Sure, if I write like 10k words today then that average will dip down to around 1500 words per day, which is still a lot. Even if I pumped out 20k words today, it would only go down to around 1000 words per day. Which honestly isn’t a lot, but it feels like a lot – and, I mean, I’d have to write 20k words today to get there.
Basically what I’m saying is that I know my end goals, but not the means by which I can achieve them.
Specifically, what I’m saying is that I don’t know how to make myself have the right kind of ideas at the right kind of speed to make this project move as fast as I want it to.
Because, if I had the ideas, then there would be no problem, or at least not this pretty fucking insurmountable one; there would be the usual issues of energy levels, risk of burnout, time management, etc. I could write up a whole plan for this manuscript, but I feel that with the kind of ideas I’m having right now I would just ignore it anyway – maybe it would be enough to loosen up the gears, though, so I will keep that in the back pocket.
I could just skip ahead to some of those scenes that I want to have happen -but I’ve tried that with this project, and they’ve turned into something else, something harder to manage, which forces me to confront the fact that those set-in-stone ideas are actually pretty damn open and I’m not as enamoured with or clear about them as I’d like to be.
What I’m saying is that I am feeling very lost right now with my project, and I don’t know how to get un-lost.
I actually do have ideas.
I have ideas for little moments, snippets of action or drama, and these moments have their own internal logic that works. There’s character motivation; there’s plot points; there’s blocking … they work.
But I’m not using these ideas as I write.
And the reason is that these ideas – it’s not that they don’t work; it’s that they work by themselves. I have not done the work of figuring out how to link them up, not just to each other, but with the story that I’m actually currently telling.
There is a clash between the ideas that I have about where I want to write up to, and the ideas that are coming out in my writing as I write.
So, this week, I’m going to try and reconcile the two, and find some way of navigating this project that lets me do both.
Look, it’s Monday, everybody hates Mondays, I’m not going to try and be smart on a Monday. But this is the goal for this week: think harder about how to link up the pieces. What is happening in these scenes that I do have in mind? What makes the most sense in terms of getting from point A to point B? I have to put some planning time aside for this; this week I am saying, you know what, maybe I do actually need a goddamn plan.
Let’s see how that goes, shall we?
For a grand total of 2094.
Also, fuck everything that I just wrote, I was right in week one: having set goals with flexibility in how I reach them is actually exactly correct.
How do I know this, you may ask, and I will tell you that it is because my life guru Lindsay Ellis made a video about Game of Thrones that I really want to watch the second part of whenever that comes out man I wonder what it’s like to wait for content related to Game of Thrones in some way kek but anyway her general argument for the big issue with the series is that the showrunners had set ideas about where they were going with characters, plot, and events in the story, and it ended up being what undermined the progress of those elements. Characters behaved in contrived ways for contrived reasons, plot elements were hand-waved away and ignored into obsolescence, and events that are stupid happened because of this pre-determined set of goals that they were intending to reach, at the expense of the organic development that occurred during the course of the show. Basically, the show naturally developed in a certain direction – or number of directions, really – and the showrunners realised it was going to ruin their big plans, so they just sort of forced things back on-course with no regard to whether or not it made sense, was satisfying, or if it would destroy their mortal souls to do so.
And I realise now that that’s the problem that I’ve been facing with Bad Guys … and Mark and Jessie … and Tallulah … and fucking Wolf Gang …
She also gives the counter-example of Breaking Bad where, assuming that Breaking Bad is a really good show and has a really good ending (I’ve never watched so I’m all for hypotheticals in this case), a different method was employed: the showrunners knew that the story was finite, would end, and how it would end. But along the way, they allowed for the story to develop organically as it progressed, and it ultimately changed the way that they arrived at that end-point – but it was still the same end-point as they had planned.
Or that’s my understanding of Ellis’s thesis in her video, at least. It makes sense to me. Stories do develop as you write them, whether you want them to or not, and while it can be frustrating to see that your carefully-preserved plans, half-baked as they may be, are falling apart literally as you write them, that might just mean that the ideas are doing their job: giving you a story to tell. Even if it’s not the one you predicted that you would. If you even had a clear prediction of that storytelling process to begin with. Which, I am trying to make myself admit here, I did not, and even though it’s been a year and a half since I had those first story-germinating ideas, time has not made those ideas any stronger, clearer … or better.
As I learnt while writing the zero draft of Tallulah, the amount of time you spend writing is not a measure of how much progress you make with your writing. It’s only a measure of how long it’s taken. It’s already taken me a year and a half to get this far, and I’m fucking nowhere. It’s starting to make me think that, actually, those first couple of chapters I wrote last year … they’re probably worth looking into again. I don’t mind what I’ve got now, but it’s definitely something that I did because I thought I had to try and bring my story back on-track, rather than embracing what I’d started to create once I actually sat down to start creating.
But, then again, that would just be trying to pull things back on-track and retrofit the current state of this project to how it was a year ago, and I doubt that would be any healthier than trying to force it to fit the original, shallow-but-exciting concept I had at the very beginning. It is what it is; those chapters are still there for me to return to if I so desire …
So I think I’ll just write.
Word-sprints continue to be effective at getting writing done. I would have done more, but something horrible happened.
I had an idea.
A great, story-making, mortifyingly obvious idea.
One that requires me to start all over again.
And, as you might imagine, this dilemma stumped me for the rest of the evening, which could have otherwise been spent happily puttering along until I reached a somewhat larger word-count for the day.
It’s fine. I’ll go ham tomorrow; I’m in a fine place in terms of picking up the pace and getting shit going.
It’s just …
God damn this was a good idea that I can’t believe I never even considered until now, which is, what, almost two years after I first had the idea?
Something that really embarrasses and frustrates me is that I tend to not think of the most obvious ideas when it comes to stories: the tropes, the classics, the never-gets-olds. In other words, the things that I love to see in stories. I’m not sure quite what the disconnect is, why it is that I can appreciate these things when I see them and kind of crave the shit out of them when looking for new stories to indulge in, yet my own creative process just doesn’t go there.
The only reason I even thought of it was because of a question my co-writing friend’s boyfriend asked me when I told him about Bad Guys. Basically he asked if X trope was in the story. At the time I thought that it was a really good idea, but felt comfortable not having it in my story because, well, that’s not what the story was about. And I’m happy with myself for that, because there was definitely a time when I would have beaten myself up for not immediately coming up with that sort of idea all on my own right from the very start.
But then I was thinking today about the issue of filler, and how so much of the filler that’s getting written with Bad Guys is due to me forcing myself to write but not having any fucking clue what to write, and sort of stalling for time while I try to figure out what the best course of action to take storytelling-wise might be. And a really big cause of that right now, in fact the biggest cause, and the one that has, truthfully, been the bump in the road for the past year and a half with this project, was how to bring all the characters together in a way that both made sense and felt natural – felt like something that would happen in a story, rather than just going “and then they all teamed up so that the story could continue”. Now, going with the philosophy of Write Now, Fix Later, this wasn’t a problem, on paper. However, this being a philosophy that I was attempting to follow, it triggered every perfectionist neurosis that I have, and basically up until this Camp Nano it is the problem that I have been unable to let go without solving, the ransom I’ve held my story hostage for and can’t find the storytelling resources to pay.
I remembered the question of if X trope was in my story.
And I realised that, if it were in my story …
It would solve EVERYTHING.
Not because of the trope itself, but because of the premise that it implies must also be present in the story – at least to me. And from there, well, all the ideas that I’ve had for the past two years suddenly seemed so incredibly … pointless.
All the writing that I’ve done this month, all the effort I’ve been putting into doing my daily writing … pointless. Made completely redundant by the idea that I had, the exact kind of Good Idea I’d been holding out hope for.
Be careful what you wish for, I guess …
Except fuck that, because after wallowing in existential misery for about half an hour I brought out my trust Notes word document that I’ve been keeping with me while writing Bad Guys, wrote out all of this shit, and realised that, actually, incorporating this idea could actually let me use everything I’ve written for Bad Guys OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
Which is somewhat better than having everything I’ve done up until now be totally fucking redundant.
Granted, it still means that I’d have to tell the story differently to how I’d … planned? This is the thing, though: I’ve been lamenting my lack of a plan for so long that this is basically the inevitable result of trying really hard and … succeeding. I’ve found the idea. I did think of the most obvious thing, with a bit of prodding.
And actually …
It’s still kind of not what I want this story to be about.
But, it could still help me to unify all of the ideas that I’ve had, solve all of the problems that I’m currently facing with the project. I just can’t write and think about it at the same time.
I thought that today was going to be the worst day in the two-year history of trying to get Bad Guys written – but, thankfully, I thought about it for more than a second (eventually), and it turns out that it might be the best day in the two-year history of trying to get Bad Guys written.
Which highlights something else that I realised today, before the Big Idea came down the pipleine: it’s been two years since I had the idea, two years of thinking “hey, this is a great, fun, trashy premise that I should do something with because it would be fun”, and thinking that all that I’d done with it had been developing the story much more than it actually was. Time spent does not equal progress made when it comes to writing; and with that in mind, even in terms of the actual time I’ve spent trying to get Bad Guys written during these past two years … it’s, like, maybe a month in total, all put together. Including these past two weeks of Camp Nano. And that’s what the process feels like right now; it feels like the kind of ideas that I’m having at the moment are the kinds of ideas and brainwaves that you have when you’re in the very earliest stages of a writing project, sparks are flying, energy is racing through you, and it comes out in interesting, unexpected, and often exciting ways. It’s just that this one-month writing period has been spread out over the past twenty-plus months, so I haven’t even benefited from the momentum that would have come from a focused one-and-a-half-month period of actually getting my hands dirty with the ideas that I do have.
Maybe I would have thought of that super obvious idea all on my own eventually. Maybe not. It still bothers me that I don’t have a good track record with “classic” ideas coming to me; it’s a skill that I want to develop.
But either way, what I realise now is just how very early in the process of writing this book I actually am – and how much I actually do want to write it, in whatever form it might end up taking. Because it is a great idea, it is a fun idea, and goddammit I want to see that justice is done to it. Or as much justice as I can provide.
I think I am still pretty stumped right now, but it’s a good kind of stumped. It’s time to make some big decisions, and I have a lot of good reasons for making most of them. Choice-paralysis is definitely a problem of mine – but at least this time they’re all good choices. I think I can work with that.
How is it this late in the year already …
So all of that huge fuss I kicked up yesterday over the Brilliant Idea That Ruined/Solved Everything turns out to be a little less of a big, huge, life-changing deal than it felt like it was yesterday.
That does happen sometimes.
However, I’m still of the opinion that it was a good thing; it shook me up a bit, got me thinking outside the box I’d constructed around this project, treating years of not bothering to try and actually work with the ideas that I had as the same thing as having ideas strong enough that they keep snapping back into place no matter how much I tweak them, and made me aware that I was doing that to begin with.
Today, I just wrote more of what I’d been writing yesterday, and it’s working about as well as you might reasonably hope a zero draft would.
Also, note to self: I am getting tropes in here. They’re just not the big, classic tropes that yesterday’s revelation was me being fixated on.
Also-also, note to self: I can think of classic shit. It just takes a while. And it also takes exposure to other ideas (hence my co-writing friend’s boyfriend’s question being very helpful, and my actually writing this project giving me ideas about it that I haven’t had before). It takes having something to work with.
Case in point …
Revision: 40 minutes
Wolf Gang revision planning is … well, I’ve hit a snag, and it’s the classic snag of having to decide whether to stick with the manuscript I’ve got and just try to squeeze every last ounce of potential out of it while going to almost unreasonable lengths to find reasons to not write anything new, or whether to go full-on revision mode and just add and cut and swap and tweak to my heart’s desire. I’ve opted for the latter, because seriously some of the things that happen in this story are real stupid and I can’t stand it – and I’m having ideas that I prefer to the ones that currently litter the manuscript. The only issue is that, well, it’s all new stuff, and it keeps coming. Today I thought I was going to pin something down; instead I have a veritable flock of new ideas flapping around, and none of them stand out as the best or most appropriate. They’re all pretty good ideas, at least – just not in the context of the current manuscript. Which makes figuring out how to work them in somewhat awkward.
But I’m certain that, eventually, I’ll figure it out. Just not today. I was definitely spending too much time trying to develop the new ideas and not enough time on looking over what I had to make the two fit together. It’s fine. There’s always tomorrow. I think that I will actually keep up the revision-plan-train tomorrow, rather than letting it sit for another week; I’ve got so much momentum with Bad Guys right now that it feels a little selfish to not spread the love around.
So, all in all, a pretty solid day writing-wise. I am still very much behind with my Camp Nano daily average goals, and I do want to make a big push this week. Just have to set a day or two aside to do it.
I am currently six days’ worth of writing behind with my Camp Nano goal of 50k words by the end of the month.
Good to know.
I have felt like absolute horseshit today, and in an unsettling way, because it’s so familiar – and old. I haven’t felt this kind of bad since my teen years – yes, that’s right: today’s angst has been retro angst. I’m not going to go into why (partly because that’s not what I want to use this blog for, partly because I feel better now and it was stupidly easy to achieve), but suffice to say that it made doing most things other than perpetuating self-distracting habits very … unappealing. I just wanted to escape, not even the feeling necessarily but my thoughts about why I was feeling like that, what I could do about it, how it was my responsibility and I needed to do something about it and how unfair that was …
And then I did a 10-minute word-sprint with one of my cabin-mates and now I feel great.
I mean, it is funny, it’s just that it’s also really infuriating that this is the kind of problem that I have to deal with in my life, this is what becomes basically debilitating for me: something that I can solve in ten fucking minutes with a little bit of help from someone else, if I’m willing to reach out.
Of course, I wasn’t willing, because when I get this way I get very anti-social, but thankfully after years of counselling and some Youthline training I have made it to the point where, eventually, I will force myself to do the thing that I know works, and, well, it works.
Which is what I’m thinking about now with regards to continuing with Bad Guys. I am going to finish this current chapter/sequence that I’m on because I’ve committed to it, and I’m going to aim to finish it by Saturday evening. Then I’m going to start planning.
And I’m going to base that plan off something that I’m now going to remind myself of, in writing, so that I can’t ignore it until I finish this blog post: I don’t have to write a book for Camp Nanowrimo. I just have to commit 50k words in writing to my Camp Nanowrimo project.
In other words: it’s time to jump around.
Jump up, jump up and get down to writing some scenes, yo, because that’s about all I’ve got with this project.
Well, not quite. It is developing and evolving and I don’t want that to stop; but I do have some fairly clear-cut, finalised ideas that I’ve had from day one – maybe less finalised than I’d thought they were initially, but still finalised enough that I actually do want to get them down in writing.
So, there’s that: these are the most fully-formed ideas that I have for this project, so it seems sensible to start with them and see where that takes me, but also so that I have options, a wealth of material to pick and choose from when I do finally decide what it is that I want this project to ultimately be. It also gives me the chance to “start over” without discounting any of the work that I’ve done up to this point, because rather than retconning the events of the story that I have created over the past two and a half weeks, I’m just adding what I’ve written to this collection of scenes that I can pick and choose from when compiling the final version of this zero draft.
Now, the obvious downside to this is the momentum shift; I am not writing with a plan right now and that is making it very easy to slip up and get distracted, but even if the word-count is lower than I’d like it to be at this point, it is still going, and that is an extremely important, invaluable thing for a project. As long as it’s going, the speed – I mean it matters in terms of morale, but if you’re getting morale from other sources then it kind of doesn’t matter at all. And doing this would basically be saying, “okay, this thing that’s currently working, yeah we’re not doing that anymore, let’s do this thing instead because it seemed like a good idea at the time”.
But hell, maybe it is a good idea. Maybe I do need to actually not just shift my priorities concerning Bad Guys, but leave it behind altogether. I shouldn’t be afraid to give up a bad job just because I’ve invested a lot of time into it, right? I’ve made that mistake before; I’m trying to learn shit here. Because while the current momentum-train I’m riding is getting me … well, somewhere, and that’s valuable, I would also like to be working on something that feels a bit more predictable and safe, a bit more planned. It’s just that, man, I do want that daily word-count average to go up, and I think I’ve finally figured out that the Wolf Gang, writing-by-the-seat-of-my-pants approach just isn’t cutting it for Bad Guys in terms of word-count. Maybe something that I can sit down and plan out would work better.
No, you know what, that’s stupid. I’m going to keep working on Bad Guys – I just might have to concede that I’m not going to hit that 50k-word goal. And that’s fine; right from the start I pretty much said that was the plan anyway. I can just cut back on my goal, keep the momentum up and not stop writing it, but leave myself enough breathing-room to also work on some other project, I don’t know what yet. But something that feels more clear to me, where the vision is more fully-formed, and it’s not so much mental work for me to just write the damn thing. And I’ve already proven to myself that, when I’m stuck for what to write, having a bunch of different projects to jump around between is a good solution, at least for a while.
So, I think that’s my plan: cut back on Bad Guys for the sake of getting Bad Guys written in any form at all, and find some other project to write alongside it. It’s not really what I want to do, but I do think it’s the wise decision to make, and I’d like to get better at making those.
It’s just a shame that Bad Guys can’t be two different projects.
I mean, it kind of is, though; there’s the version of Bad Guys that I’m currently writing, which is all pretty much improv, and then there’s the version of Bad Guys that I’ve had in my head since day one, two years ago, which is just a handful of not-fully-developed-but-very-compelling scenes and scene-seeds that feels much more deterministic.
And, I mean, it would be an entirely different process for either version: this current one is all going in blind and seeing where I end up, without the structure that I’m starting to really miss, while the other, “OG” version is the one that needs planning to work, and improv is what’s going to mess it up …
So, actually, if I were to try to continue my current Camp Nano version of Bad Guys and also work on getting those few, close-to-finished scenes that I have in mind down in writing, it actually would be two different projects …
Both of which I could count towards my Camp Nano daily word-count average …
Did I just find a fucking cheat-code for writing?
I think I know how I’m getting my daily word-count average up.
Maybe I blew my mind a little too hard with that word-count hack yesterday; I have been a little sleepy today. Is it because my genius is too much for my feeble human cerebral cortex to contain? Is it because some evil spirit is siphoning my vital essence out of jealousy? Is it because I stayed up until after 4 AM last night talking to my brother, got to sleep after 5 AM, and then woke up at 9 AM? It’s a mystery, but whatever the cause, the result is me writing 3 words today and that being quite enough, thank you.
I am looking forward to my stupid “hack”, double-dip, feels-like-cheating-but-really-seriously-is-not-even-a-little-bit-cheating act of self-delusion for the purposes of upping my daily word-count average, but it’s going to be very time-consuming. So tomorrow, Saturday, my official “day off” (today was my unofficial “day off”), is where I’m hoping to 1) get a bit more writing done and 2) plot out the things that I need to plot out to get those movie-trailer scenes down in writing, just the way I want them to be. I am predicting a very sharp drop in daily word-count totals for the end of this week and maybe the start of next week, but the plan is to get that way back up there once I’ve got everything ready and I know what I’m doing, so that I can just do it.
It is also possible that my jokey “hey I’ll just work on two things and not prioritise either of them very highly’ plan was actually the totally correct move for me, or that I should just have the discipline to either forge ahead with the version of the story I’m currently writing or start over again like I thought I would have to originally to make it all nice and neat and coherent from the start.
But this is a zero draft, and “neat” doesn’t quite fit the bill. I think I just have to accept that, one way or another, my brain is so screwy that I have to hack it to get it to work sometimes, and as long as I can figure out how to do that, what’s the big deal?
This after basically deciding I was going to write another 1 word today. This is supposed to be my day off, but I felt so fucking antsy just sitting around, trying to “chill” and “relax” and “enjoy my downtime”, that I had to do something. So, writing. A couple of sprints, momentum maintained …
I do think I need to start over with Bad Guys.
It’s frustrating, because I still want to make the most of the momentum that I have, but if I’m being honest then this version of the story isn’t one that I’m interested in continuing with. I can still use it for something, of course, and at the very least it has given me a whole bunch of perspective on this project, what it’s lacking, what actually works, and how to solve some of the issues I’m having with getting from A to B. Starting over wouldn’t invalidate the work that I’ve done.
I mean, not entirely.
It would invalidate it enough that it upsets me to think about it.
But, that’s just it: these are all just thoughts. I think starting over will be better for the project in the long run; I think it’ll kill my momentum if I do it and I’ll just end up leaving it for another year and a half; I think that continuing with what I’ve got right now is ultimately a waste of time that could and should be spent on doing this thing properly. And I have no idea what to do with any of these thoughts.
But maybe that’s for the best; maybe just doing what I set out to do and not acting on these big, paradigm-shifting ideas of mine is very wise. It sounds wise, to not make decisions in the heat of the moment when I have a perfectly sound plan that, while perhaps not perfect, is at least a fucking plan that I can fall back on for guidance and direction when things are spiraling out of control. Things like my brain, for instance. It happens more than I think is healthy.
Lots of thinking going on today.
Which has also been a total ruin of a day off, and I also think I need to compensate for that. I keep saying that I need to make a plan for this, for that, for the other thing; well maybe I do, and maybe the very simple reason for why I keep falling into the same holding pattern of not quite “getting there” with shit I want to do is because of this lack of planning. Or just not sticking to what plans I do actually end up making. Maybe I need to do what so many other creative people have advised others to do and get flashcards, print out my plan and hang it on the wall or stick it on a corkboard or something, so that it’s right there in front of me and I can’t easily ignore it.
I want to enjoy my days off, goddammit!
Well, that can be the goal for next week I guess. For now, I’ve done my writing for the day, and now it’s time to try and salvage at least an evening off out of this failure of a chillout session. Still planning tomorrow. Still eager to make it work, though less and less sure it’s even remotely possible given what the plan is.
But that’s tomorrow, and I will deal with it then.
Didn’t do “planning” per se, but did get a bit of much-needed perspective. A day off tomorrow to kick off the week; will still write, but will get that done first thing so that the rest of the day can just be … well, I should have a think about that.
Today was also fun; I went to look at a flat with my co-writing friend that she and her partner are interested in; I was almost sad that I wasn’t looking myself. The place was nice, and apparently the property manager liked me a lot (which I didn’t pick up on but everyone else seemed to, and I’m definitely vain enough to take their word for it). Then a longer-than-usual D&D session that almost wraps up the campaign we’ve been playing for most of 2019 up to this point … yeah. A full day, and a fun one.
Revision: 40 minutes
If there is one lesson I feel like I need to take away from this week, it’s to keep perspective. I definitely get tunnel-vision when I’m writing, and my perfectionism makes it so easy for me to make the worst out of what are really quite minor problems, get distracted, and lose sight of my game plan.
Thankfully, I decided last night to return to a favourite pasttime of mine: listening to podcasts while gaming. It was back to Writing Excuses, which I love, yet haven’t listened to in over a year. I went back to it last night, and fortuitously, I started with an episode on doing Nanowrimo, where all four of the successful, published career author hosts emphasised not only the importance of developing the skill of Just Writing, but how your story only really starts to take shape once you’ve already written a full draft and have something to work with. Which is all stuff that I know and have iterated myself, but have found really hard to bear in mind this month. I needed to hear it, and once I did it became much clearer what I needed to do: exactly what I’ve been doing up to this point. Writing.
And I’ve also realised that I need to start thinking of what comes after Camp Nano, and it’s actually starting to make me excited. I think a lot of my panic over “what to do” with Bad Guys this Camp Nano had to do with the time constraint of the month-long writing period; but maybe because I’ve finally gotten started in earnest, I’m really looking forward to the continuation of this project, and getting to tell this story …
Which I think I’m finally comfortable with the idea of being more of a “discovery writing” project. I think, maybe rather than trying hard to bring my original ideas to life, I should be more embracing the openness of this project, the opportunities that come from not having clear ideas to work with, and just running with it. I don’t think that I had the enthusiasm to do that before Camp Nano, but I feel it now. It’s weird to think that this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t decided to do Camp Nano – and, very importantly, if my co-writing friend hadn’t wanted to do it, too. I’ve tried doing it on my own before, but besides Wolf Gang it just hasn’t worked out. Now that I’ve seen the benefits of doing Nano with a friend, I can’t go back to riding solo.
Look, I’m down one day off this month, I’ll be clever after tomorrow.