Okay. It’s Nano. I’ve given up on it – but having gotten that out of my system, I now feel much freer to consider what I could do with it, even if it’s not what I had originally intended.
Given how my current priority is Bad Guys and, due to the volume of ideas I have for it right now, it is basically a rewrite – well, I could just use it for that. I think I’m going to be recycling plenty of my zero draft (and earlier) already-written material throughout this second draft, but hey, that word-count-counter doesn’t have to reflect new words written.
Also, being real: there is no way I’m going to be finished with this second draft by the end of the month. Like, no way in the nine layers of hell is that going to be a thing. So I can afford to set myself a nice comfortable word-count goal that seems both achievable and useful for building up the momentum I’ll need to keep going with this second draft.
Herein lies my current idea-that’s-going-to-solve-everything, though, and I want to take a moment to consider it. During the zero draft, I just wrote. I tried not to stop to think or consider what I was going to write next; I just wanted the thing to be written, and I was willing to de-prioritise things like “quality” and “taste” and “continuity” in order to achieve that goal. I think it worked pretty beautifully, to be honest.
But this time, I care a bit more about what I’m writing. A lot more, actually. I care about what’s going to end up in this draft; I don’t want to repeat the experience of the zero draft, of putting things on the page that don’t necessarily reflect my ideas, the ones that I’m passionate about, and lose sight of my vision in the rush of speed-writing for the sake of pumping out a foundation to work from going forward. I’ve already done that. The zero draft – honestly, it doesn’t matter a lot. It does have some interesting ideas in it that I’ve come to be quite fond of, but it was a means to an end, and it’s served its purpose.
I don’t want this second draft to be like that. I want to put all my ideas out there, and I want to have the energy to do it.
So I think this time around, I’m going to be more deliberate. I’m going to write slowly, thinking of exactly what I want to say and how I want to say it, unless it’s so clear to me that I don’t need to wait for the right words or the right idea to fall into place in my thoughts, ready for transcription. I think that’s the right approach to take.
Only one thing is holding me back: momentum. What if instead of too much momentum, I lose sight of the big picture because I’m taking too long to deliberate over individual scenes? I don’t really have a plan; I’ve pretty much given up on working from a completed plan – it’s plan-as-I-go this time, just like with the zero draft. And I think that’s the right thing to do, even being more deliberate, because I have a lot of ideas and they don’t all necessarily add up to a story when put together. And that’s fine. I just want to be able to look back on this process and know that I did everything that I wanted to do with it.
Yet still, there’s this “big picture” I’m afraid of losing. I think it’s more of a feeling than a story outline, this “big picture” of mine. When it comes right down to it, what I’m afraid of is that if I take too long, I’ll stop caring. I care right now, and that’s great.
But what happens when I stop caring?
I think that’s also a risk I’m going to have to take.
And hey, I can just experiment today, write this one scene that I’ve got a lot of thoughts and excitement about and see how it goes. I also did record my zero draft experience on this very blog specifically so that I could refer back to it for future reference, so hey, there’s that option, too. I seem to recall something about “making my own momentum”, which might be just what I need to alleviate this fear of mine.
For now, though, the only momentum I need to build is the sit-down-and-write kind.
Let’s get moving.
That’s more than I expected, but kind of less than I’d hoped – overall, though, I think it’s what I needed today. A healthy start without overdoing it, and leaving me wanting to do more.
Part of the trepidation that I have with not doing more today was the fact that tomorrow is Tuesday, and Tuesday is “get nothing done day” for me. Doesn’t mean that’s going to happen, but it often does. This is due to the fact that Tuesday is when Critical Role‘s YouTube channel updates with the latest episode, and, yeah, that’s my day’s productivity gone.
But then again, I did keep up with the show throughout the zero draft. I think it’s just going to take a while for me to get back into the swing of things; I had enthusiasm today, and I’m still feeling it, but that’s not the same as momentum, which can carry you when enthusiasm runs out. I’m worried that, after starting strong today, after starting really not strong last week, I’m just not going to get my momentum up tomorrow like I need to.
Still, this is all more speculation, and as I’ve become aware of recently, I can get very stuck on speculation. I know there are temptations coming up tomorrow that could knock me off-course, will knock me off-course if I let them. And the thing is that I want to let them. Instant gratification and all that. But I do also want to keep writing – all I have to do, then, is make time for all the things I want to do tomorrow. Maybe spread them out across the week.
This is such a simple problem to fix, it’s just the fact that it’s going against how I feel, and man do I not have a good track record with that. That’s what I’m afraid of.
I suppose the real solution here is to compromise – and work towards setting myself a good example to follow in future. There’s gonna be a few more Tuesdays in my future.
Except that I’m pretty sure I’m going to replace all of this wonderful writing I’ve done. The only question is whether to do it now or later.
My gut tells me … well, it’s actually telling me two things; or perhaps I have two guts. Perhaps I’m actually a Minotaur. Regardless, on the one hand I’m getting a “just keep going” message, for the sake of momentum. That’s what I did for the zero draft, and, hey, it got written. To go more in-depth with why this is significant: I don’t think it would have gotten written if I hadn’t “just kept going”, even when I wanted to rewrite certain bits.
On the other hand – this is the draft where I want to be more deliberate with what I write, rather than speeding my way through. I want to take my time to find the right words, or at least know what I’m trying to say with whatever words I can find. I’ve already done my “don’t give a fuck” draft – now, this is my “do give a fuck” draft. I care about how it’s written.
And right now, it’s written wrong.
Though having said that, there’s a lot that I’ve written that I like – I’ll find a way to keep the bits that work; and hey, as I say: never throw anything away. I’ve gotten quite “lost” with this current bit of story I’m writing – it’s a prologue, because while Bad Guys is primarily a satire/parody/comedy, it is still Fantasy – and a big part of that is because I’m writing it from the POV of a character who was meant to be really central in the zero draft, but ended up getting left behind for most of it. So my ambition of writing “deliberately” may be challenging given that I’m currently writing a character I have only written from the POV of on two other occasions – neither of which felt right, either.
However, there is also another main priority for me with Bad Guys draft 2, and it’s from the POV of the current lead character, who’s most likely shifting to co-lead with this other character, which is pretty much how I originally envisioned the story being. So if I’m in want of something a bit “safer” to dig into while still building up momentum, I might go for that tomorrow.
I also think I’m going to experiment with shorter writing sessions throughout the week – or, if not throughout the week, then as a strategy that I can employ some days. I’m feeling like I need to get some High Fantasy writing done that isn’t Bad Guys, which is High Fantasy but I don’t count as High Fantasy because it’s not really fitting my fantasy of the genre, what I want to get out of it. I want to scratch my specific itch, and Bad Guys is not the tool for the job. Yet I also don’t want to lose momentum with Bad Guys.
So, tomorrow, I’m going to try and limit my writing sessions to, like, half an hour at most, and see how that goes. My theory is that I’ll find a sweet-spot between speed and deliberation with a shorter, predictable timeframe, not so long that I end up spending a whole hour trying to put one sentence together, but long enough so that I can build up some momentum. Maybe forty five minutes; my point is that I want it to be pretty short – but also frequent – and to swap between projects, scratching multiple itches. I’m apparently very itchy at the moment. Maybe I should find some kind of spray.
And one of these itches is that of finding a way to use Nanowrimo for its intended purpose, even if it is starting a week late. Maybe that’s not practical, but maybe it still has some use for me, and it would be nice to find one. Not vital, not even important – just nice. And I like nice things.
Okay, maybe this tomorrow.
I had such a lazy day today that I was pretty close to writing off doing any … writing … until my co-writing buddy messaged me and I realised that I had the power to define this day for myself through my decisions, and decided to do some writing.
It was supposed to just be a 5-minute edit, just to see how it went, because I was afraid that starting to rewrite what I’ve spent the past two days working on would kill not just my momentum, but my passion for this second draft. Two and a quarter hours later, I know a bit more about dresses than I did before this evening …
And I feel even more motivated to continue with this second draft, because it’s closer than it was yesterday to being what I want it to be.
Deliberation for the win!
Not that I did a lot of deliberating really; it was more like the last couple of days’ worth of writing was just me cleaning the gunk out of my system, because tonight it all came to me pretty smoothly – and didn’t go off-track. Mind you, it was also coming pretty smoothly the past couple of days; but I did go off-track, and right at the start, too, so it’s a little frustrating to think that I could have avoided this scenario if I’d just corrected myself right then and there. But I’m not upset, because at least I know for sure now that a bit of backtracking is not only not going to set me back with this second draft, but is actually exactly what I need to do – and, of course, now I know to be aware of when I’m setting myself to want to do it, and to be able to make sure I stay on-track going forward. That’s the theory at least. One way or another, though, I feel like I did what I needed to do tonight, and that’s what matters.
Tomorrow, I’m going to give this multiple-short-writing-sessions-throughout-the-day experiment a go, because I really do want to get suck into this High Fantasy … something that’s consuming part of me lately. I was particularly frustrated about it today, because while I know what works when I’m just imagining the sort of scenario I’d like to experience in my mind, when it comes to trying to think of how I’d write it, or why it matters to me that I write it, I come up blank. This always happens with my High Fantasy ideas in general: I have an idea or scenario that feels exciting, but when I sit down to write it the excitement is replaced with confusion – where do I start? How do I set this up? Do I even understand what’s going on or how it works? Is this going to matter to anyone?
But I’m going to have to be aware of and fight against that kind of doubt, because it only has to matter to me right now. I am also worried that once I get started writing, the second that magic is involved, I’m going to want to start deep-diving into a magic system, and I’m going to go off the rails. Well, I’m going to have to fight against that, too, and trust that if it’s interesting enough to stick with me, then I can figure out a magic system – after I’ve written the scene, or chapter, or whatever it is that I want to write out of my system.
And I’m going to do it tomorrow, to prove that I can do it, because it’s been like this for years and I really don’t want such a stupid problem to persist any longer than it already has. It doesn’t have to be a problem. Because I can be the solution.
Big day tomorrow, it looks like.
APPEARANCES CAN BE DECEIVING.
Look, this idea of using sprints to enable me to bounce between different projects – it’s a good idea. But it’s not what I need right now. And after however many years of trying to force things to work, only to inevitably learn that trying to force things to work doesn’t work, only to inevitably try forcing something else to work a little later down the line, rinse and repeat – let’s try and get ahead of the curve this time. I’ll use it when I think it’ll help, and it is now “when” right now.
That being said: it’s taking too long to write this second draft. I know that now, and that’s fine. I still want this deliberate pace – but I realised today that, actually, I’m writing so much new stuff that being “deliberate” can only take me so far. What I’m writing at the moment for Bad Guys draft 2 is all experimental, making this basically another zero draft with a few recycled and revised bits from the current zero draft thrown in.
Which means that, actually, I can afford to write a hell of a lot faster than this. The sooner I get these experimental ideas down in writing, the sooner I’ll have the opportunity to take stock of them and think about whether or not they work for the story I’m trying to tell.
… on the other hand: I’m not sure I really managed that with the zero draft I already have. Like, it’s fine, and I am actually keeping a lot of the ideas – and the fact that I’m not keeping others isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign of them not being the ideas that I want to use. But my god it’s been hard to gauge whether or not I’m doing this … properly. Properly? Maybe not properly; maybe just, I dunno, healthily. I’m not sure that I’m doing the best thing for this story and my telling of it. And I’m not sure that writing at full-tilt is actually the best way to write a zero draft.
Which I’ve been considering all throughout this year, and it comes from exactly this issue of not keeping a ton of ideas after I’ve spent time bothering to write them down. In a sense, aiming to write a zero draft super-duper fast makes sense, because if I’m just going to discard a ton of ideas anyway then I’d rather have it over and done with in a month or two, as opposed to waiting a year or more, like with Mark and Jessie. I spent time writing that damn thing, and while in broad strokes I like the kind of shape of the story, the actual events are not at all what I want – they’re actually pretty far off the mark. From that experience, I took away the lesson that, no matter how hard I try, I’m always going to be discarding some ideas throughout the revision process. Sounds obvious, is obvious on paper, but I’ve had to go through it first-hand to figure it out, as you do. And if I’m destined to be discarding ideas, again, I don’t want to be spending a lot of time on getting them down in writing.
… except that, if I write too quickly, then I’m running the risk – the high risk – of not getting my ideas down in writing at all, and the ideas that I’m discarding aren’t being discarded because I thought they’d work and they actually don’t, but because they were random shit that I just threw at the page for the sake of keeping up momentum and had no intended longevity beyond that purpose.
Which is not to say that some random shit isn’t, sometimes, actually really good for a story – but after Bad Guys take 1, and after Mark and Jessie, I really don’t want to spend time and energy drafting a novel full of events that I don’t even care about. If I’m going to discard ideas, then I want it to be for the right reasons, not because they were disposable to begin with.
Or maybe that’s exactly what I want and I don’t know what I’m doing aaarrrggghhh.
Well, that’s been the story of this week, and these first seven days of Nano: I’ve just been really lost. Yes, the writing has been going well, but I am going to run out of energy for it if it keeps taking me this damn long to move on from a single scene. Like, at the moment, a single interaction between two characters. It’s taking so damn long and it’s not meant to be long. Maybe it’ll be shorted when I read it, but I doubt it. It’s tons of exposition and filler and, I mean, it’s because it’s a new POV that I’m working with and so on and so on; I know why it’s taking so long, it’s actually fine that it’s taking so long in that context …
But in the wider context of me just wanting this second draft to just move already, I need to pick up the pace.
Which was the whole reason I had the idea for using sprints to allow me to shift between projects in the first place: so that I could keep my “deliberate” pace with Bad Guys without feeling like I was devoting all of my time and energy to a project that moved at a glacial pace; so that I could put some time and energy into something that just goes without abandoning the second draft that needs a bit more thinking before acting. But on reflection, I think I overestimated just how slowly I need to go with this second draft. I can go fast. I just need to take enough time to make sure that the ideas I’m working with are actually the ideas I want to be working with – and then start building up speed.
I do think I need that second project, actually. Now that I’ve said all of this, I do definitely think I’m getting a bit fixated and frustrated with this one project not being everything I want it to be; that’s not fair to the project, and it’s not fair to me. I need more than it can give, and I know that if I try to make it fill in for all of my needs, I’ll ruin the project. That happened with Realm of the Myth; I don’t want it to happen to another project of mine, ever.
Today is a write-off; I need to get some distance from this rut of mine, and come back to it refreshed. Also, I have a statement of research intent to draft! This PhD enrollment isn’t going to apply for itself.
But I think I am actually going to use Nanowrimo for Bad Guys after all – I’m not counting only new words, just however many words the project is currently at, which seems … really obvious, because it’s supposed to be a measure of the size of the project …
I need a break. Let’s start now, shall we?
So, because irony is not only inevitable but incredibly predictable, today is the day I finally used a sprint. Not to jump between projects, mind you, just to get started with picking up the pace. It worked well. I did delete about two-thirds of what I ended up writing and then rewrote back to roughly the same point, because this draft is all about being DELIBERATE and how long before I get sick of using that word well let’s find out together.
The point is that I got some writing done, I feel good about it – and I’ve been very silly this week, I feel. Not in a way where I feel bad about myself, but just acknowledging that the huge amount pressure and stakes-raising I’ve done to myself over the past few days for the sake of trying to seem like I’m Taking This Seriously has been pretty ridiculous. And also hasn’t helped, either, which is the key factor in this “silly” verdict.
Speaking of silly things: I think I might actually be read to write Realm of The Myth now.
Yeah, I’m not going to stake my name on it or anything; I’ve been here before more than a few times by now. But having managed to balance both writing fast and writing deliberately in the same session, being willing to walk back bits that don’t work while still embracing how useful it is to just write a whole bunch of something for the sake of momentum and warming up … it’s got me feeling optimistic.
And if there is any project of mine that requires optimism, it is the behemothic High Fantasy epic that I started writing when I was 14 and refused to give up on for over a decade afterwards due to sheer bad habit.
Besides, if there’s a project I want to “not care about”, it’s Realm of the Myth. In theory it should be like Wolf Gang times a billion, but it does require a bit of deliberation – some scenes for this story I’ve had in mind, practically unchanged, for almost twenty years now, god that is a bit sad given the nature of this particular project, anyway the thing is that now I feel much more prepared to tackle a project like this, and make it work. I do think the most recent strategy that I came up with for writing it still makes sense, which is to write it in the spirit of every other vehicle for an authorial self-insert main character that has ever been written by someone who never got over their yearning for the classic teen experience narrative that they never got to live out, plus a healthy dose of shonen anime sensibility.
I’m feeling pretty ambitious right now. I think that’s the essence of what I’m getting at here. Let’s see how it plays out.
That’s all for Realm of the Myth, by the way. It was my intention to finish this chapter/scene of Bad Guys I’ve been stuck on all of this week today, but I think I’ll save it for later, finish it after I’ve done something a bit more fun and immediately gratifying, like updating one of the zero draft chapters I’ve been wanting to update basically since I wrote it.
And write more of this High Fantasy novel that, well, I’ve managed to write some of today.
Thinking about it today, looking over some of my notes for various High Fantasy projects and ideas that I’ve had recently, I’ve come to a conclusion: I’m a bit tired of the tropes – elves, dwarves, orcs, the whole Tolkien playground – in terms of what I want to give my “real” focus and effort to. But I do still like them – and I realised that, if I’m going to use them, then I actually just have to embrace the fact that whatever I end up writing, it’s not going to be original or interesting or innovative at all, and that’s why I’m using these particular tropes and cliches. Because if I want it to be original and interesting, I’m going to use something else.
Well, that’s been my thought today anyway, but we’ll see how it goes. It’s also given me some food for thought on Bad Guys, which is ostensibly a High Fantasy … well, the setting is pretty High Fantasy. But I wonder now if that’s actually the best thing for the story – and if it is, if I am leaning into that enough. I don’t think I am. I need to think about this, given that this second draft is all DELIBERATE and stuff.
But shit, I wrote a whole thing today, a High Fantasy thing at that, which is such a spectre of failure for me: every time I try to get myself to write some High Fantay I find some excuse to stop myself before I even get started. But not this time. Not this time, precious. Perhaps partly because I spent an ungodly amount of time between yesterday and today fleshing out a magic system so that I wouldn’t be going in blind, and had tools to improv with if I needed them. I think it’s worked out okay – and considering that, if this goes anywhere, it’s most definitely a zero draft, it probably actually worked out really well.
I am not getting my hopes up.
And, in fact, I think that while I’m very, very happy that I’ve succeeded in writing some High Fantasy today, probably happier than I’m actually able to recognise right now at 1:13 AM, I also think that I’m not going to be restricting myself to Realm of the Myth and it’s unimaginative use of elves and orcs and maybe dwarves. I’ve got other ideas, too, and I like them, and I’ve wanted them to exist for a while now – and maybe I was right the other day. Maybe I am capable now in a way that I wasn’t before. Maybe it’s finally time.
Maybe I’m really, finally ready.
But whatever I may or may not be in that regard, one thing’s for certain: I got up at 8:30 today and, while I’m legitimately enjoying how early I’ve been waking up lately, I am very bloody ready for some sleep.
Brainstorming: quite some time (probably like 4 hours)
I had some angst today.
I wrote that big chunk of oh-my-god-is-this-actually-getting-written writing last night, and felt good about it. I still feel good about it, because it felt like I was finally breaking a vicious cycle of self-doubt and self-sabotage; it was written, I had done it, I had succeeded, also all of these ideas would be way more interesting in this other project I should just stop this one now before I commit any more time and energy to something I know I’m just going to abandon eventually and oh god DAMN it I haven’t done it the cycle isn’t broken I still can’t fucking write this fucking thing god fuck it.
And yeah, that was my day.
No, okay; I had a good long rant about it to myself – along with how the difference between coming up with my magic system and then actually writing it made me realise that it’s a fantastic magic system, hence why I thought it would be way more interesting in another project that I might actually care about, but anyway – and came to the conclusion that, even if it is a project that I’m only going to abandon …
Well, that’s all it really need to be.
Because Realm of the Myth is not the song of my heart; it’s this project that I keep thinking should be, but every time I set out to write it, it just doesn’t feel enough – and I don’t want it to be, if I’m honest. It’s become an idea factory in practice, where if I write something interesting for it, I’ll immediately start thinking of how much better it would work somewhere else. But it is something that I keep coming back to, keep thinking “hey, maybe I’m ready to write this thing now” – and now I see that the problem is that I just don’t want to commit to it. Which is a fine problem to have, because it’s just not very good – or at least this current version of it that I started writing last night isn’t.
But I think I’m going to stick with it anyway, because it can still serve a purpose. Dual purposes, in fact. It can help me get it out of my system, and it can also help me workshop this super interesting magic system that is interesting not necessarily because of how the magic works, but because of how it’s written. It’s a system where none of the characters in the story actually understand magic properly, and have their own beliefs and assumptions and taboos around how it works, none of which get at the full picture. It turned out to be way more fun and engaging than I’d anticipated.
And given that I’ve been thinking of RoTM as basically a shonen manga crossed with a shameless self-insert YA fantasy novel for the past year or so, this is not the magic system I’m looking for. I’m looking for something a bit more … basic. Like the good old, tried-and-true “four elements” system (though there will obviously be a fifth, superior one that the hero learns to use that the villain can also use); or something like the Harry Potter system where you do things and magic happens, and there’s no rhyme or reason to it, really; or the ubiquitous “will”-based magic system, where everything is a matter of willpower and that’s that, it’s basically the Force only with flashier visuals … something that you don’t have to think about, something that doesn’t detract from the shiny explosions and righteous entitled teenage male fury happening on-page.
Yet in saying that – “getting it out of my system” includes taking it way too seriously, making a bigger deal of what I’m doing than it actually is – it’s more sincere that way, and hey, I’m trying to do things that I care about even if they’re embarrassing over here; I think this fancy magic system that doesn’t really fit with the story I have in mind is actually incredibly appropriate for this particular project in that regard.
So, I have options. I solved that problem.
Which left me with Bad Guys, because holy hell did I get a good dose of self-doubt about this project today …
The thing is, it’s all stuff that I’ve been uncertain about from the very beginning, and it’s taking me back to Tallulah, the conflicting ideas that I refused to resolve for way too long and it ended up making it impossible to continue with the story because I had to give something up. Until I figured out how to combine them … and then didn’t write it down anywhere, and forgot … and I’m sort of at that point with Bad Guys now. There are so many things this story could be about, and I don’t want to choose.
Maybe that’s actually for the best, though. This is the draft where I want to make sure that I try out all of my ideas, and that’s more of a priority than telling a coherent story by the time I’m done – that’s what revision is for, and this is not a revision. This is me getting Serious about this shit.
Which means I’m also applying my write-what-I-care-about-even-if-it’s-embarrassing ethos to Bad Guys now, which I wasn’t planning to. Mostly because I was cocky enough to believe that, the premise being so simple and basic and pulpy, it would all sort itself out without me having to care. Not quite, as it turns out.
And it’s gotten me to the point where this whole plan to revise Bad Guys over Nanowrimo has gone totally out the window. I’m still doing it, but I don’t think Nanowrimo is helpful this year. I’ve gone back and forth on the idea, and ultimately I’m doing this for me now, and Nanowrimo is not the accountability tool that I hoped it would be, because it can’t keep me accountable for the thing I want it to, which is commitment. You can’t really measure commitment with a word-count; you can’t cheat commitment, and I can cheat the Nanowrimo word-counter, really easily. I write a lot of shit. I could just copy-and-paste all of my D&D 5E “this is how rangers should work” rants and win Nanowrimo for the next decade.
But, having said that, even if it’s not going the way I hoped it would I do have some momentum, and I want to keep it. This second draft might be a longer haul than the zero draft, and I’ll need to adjust my mindset to compensate for that – but I think I care enough about this story to try and make it work.
Either that or I’ll jump over to Mark and Jessie, which I have slightly clearer ideas about restructuring, and either ditch Bad Guys – for now at least – or pull a Wolf Gang and just work with what I’ve got instead of trying to make it better/different and fitting the grand-yet-vague vision that I have for what it could be – well, not so much “vague” as “multiple mutually exclusive options”, at least until I figure out how to combine them. Which, I mean, that would just be lovely.
Until then, though …
Brainstorming: probably 4 hours
11811 words of this week’s writing were devoted to actual writing projects; the rest has been this honestly quite fraught blog post.
Still, it’s a change of pace from the doldrums of the past couple of months, and that has some value in and of itself – and this is all without even getting into the PhD thing, which I aim to put some time aside and get sorted out tomorrow – or start getting sorted out at least. Thankfully my proposed supervisor is super supportive and helpful and is there to guide me through this new, alien process – and I have some library books to read, too. This next week might be quite light on the writing front, and maybe that’s a good thing. I have some things to consider and evaluate.
And while I want to keep my momentum, I am unhappy with how all of my fretting and worrying and second-guessing has taken up valuable self-care time, including reading those library books. I did get a lot of exercise done this week, so that’s a big bonus; now to reintroduce reading to my activity planner as well. That’s the next step.
This has been a long week for me. I think back over the amount of things I feel have happened to me, and it seems more like a month’s worth of … well, drama, to be honest. Not all bad drama, but definitely drama.
I kind of like this, though; I’m not quite in The Zone yet, but my commitment to this second draft and experimenting with other projects is holding up, even with things feeling like they’re taking way longer than I want them to – all this week has been spent writing and rewriting a single new chapter/prologue for Bad Guys, plus I’ve been waking up way earlier than usual while keeping a similar bedtime, so I guess it’s also just literally been a longer week for me in terms of time spent conscious.
But it also feels like I’m getting more things done, that my life is a bit fuller. And even with the ridiculous, histrionic drama I’m going through with these writing projects, I am grateful for this sense of fullness. It feels right.
More of this, please.