I’ve got a new Thing to work on.

I’m not sure if it’s any good, but the broad skeleton of the plot appeals to me, and the premise is one that I know has been done before, but this time it’s me doing it so it’s going to be better. For me, anyway, and at the end of the day isn’t that what really matters?

Basically: let’s see things from the bad guys’ point of view for a change. I came away from Suicide Squad feeling the frustration of its blatantly missed opportunities and undelivered promises; this isn’t quite me taking a fix-fic idea and making it copyright infringement-free, but it’s certainly inspired by my more-than-is-reasonable feels about that considerably not-good film. It’s also high fantasy, and I figure that if I’m going to write a high fantasy book, it’s probably going to have to be something a bit weird just so that I can survive the process. So far, it’s home to one favourite villain/antihero character of mine whose story no longer exists, and I’m trying to think of fantasy villain archetypes to be his frenemies. I’ve got a couple already that I’m quite fond of, and since I only came up with this idea about a week ago I’m calling that good progress.

And I even wrote some of it today.

It’s hard. It’s something I have enjoyed thinking about, but I’ve been thinking about it like a film, and that’s not very helpful for getting into a good mindset for writing. Might explain a bit of why I don’t get as much writing done on new projects, while they’re fresh in my mind, as I would like. There’s always the translation error, the time it takes for me to find the right phrasing to convey the tone of the visual sequences in my imagination and transfer it into written language. It is not a smooth process, but it is the one available to me, because I don’t have the money for anything fancier. Maybe I’m going about this the wrong way. Maybe I actually need to write it as a screenplay. It’s working for the co-writing project (which went very well today, and usually tends to go very well in fact); I definitely write too many directions, but it might be the language my ideas – or this idea at least – is most suited to.

But in any case, it is getting written, and that is an accomplishment in and of itself. I really want to make the effort to actually get to work on writing my ideas while I have them, instead of holding myself back and planning them out instead to relieve the anxiety I feel at the prospect of writing it badly. Maybe that’s not something you ever get past as a writer, but I think I can at least develop some more robust, pro-active coping strategies that actually help me to get stuff written.

It’s nice to be writing something. I think this could be another shitty YA werewolf novel. Actually that’s a helpful way to think of it, because that was very fun to start with, and would have been fun all the way through if I hadn’t let it drag out for a year and a half. And it was all about embracing my inner hack, all that fun stuff … god, that really was a good thing for me to do.

Well, that idea is giving me renewed energy; I’ve been tentative about this project since I had the idea for it, but thinking of it as a sort of shitty YA werewolf novel 2.0 helps a lot. Just have fun. And just get it written, at all and any cost.

I did say I wanted to move back to more considered stories, didn’t I? Well, I do.

It just doesn’t have to be this story.


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