I now have one chapter left of my shitty YA werewolf novel to write, and I will have completed my second novel – the first draft of a novel anyway – in the last 4 years. Which is not much when compared to people who write for a living, but considering that this has been my life-consuming hobby for the past 16 years, this is pretty damn groundbreaking.
Or it will be once it’s finished.
This chapter is going to be the hardest one, because it’s the one I feel the least enthusiastic about. I just have no ideas for how to write it in an interesting way; in my head it’s just a “stand around and exposit shit” chapter, and while I am perfectly capable of writing such a chapter, I just really don’t want to. It drains me just to contemplate it. I need to think of something else, and something that makes sense for the story. I know I said I was going to just write whatever the hell I wanted and the story could go fuck itself, but that’s equally unappealing right now. I want to do this right. And I know that’s how I always get stuck …
I guess I’m just stuck, then. But I’m also one step closer to finishing this story that grew out of a writing exercise that I started on a whim last year, and I know it will feel great once I do finish it. The other thing holding me back from finishing is that there’s a ton of loose ends that I haven’t tried to tie up, and honestly I would prefer to just write this next chapter as though those loose ends didn’t exist. If I do come back and try to turn this into a “proper” story, that will be probably the first thing I take care of. But maybe I just need to suspend my disbelief and judgment, and just write something that I enjoy. Write for the manuscript I want, not the draft I have. Something like that.
Either way, it feels good to be making progress and be close to finishing. Whether or not I do decide to revise after this, I’ll have to just wait and see. For now, the prospect of closing another chapter on a successful writing project is more than enough.
And maybe once it’s done, I’ll finally figure out what I want to do next, how to leave my old stories behind, at least for now. I’m definitely looking forward to that next chapter.