This was not my word-count for today; this is my word count between yesterday and today. But I have finished the first chapter, a chapter that I already know I’m not going to use in the final edit but, stuff it, it’s already written. And if I can write 3232 words per day from here on out, I will finish Camp Nano and meet my 60k-word count goal. Sounds doable. Maybe not probable, but certainly doable.
I think this chapter was one that I needed to write just to learn from it. It wasn’t what I wanted it to be, and it starts the story off in a direction that I’m not interested in continuing in. That doesn’t mean I should go back and edit it right now though, because I’ve got momentum going now and I don’t want to spend it on retcons. Instead, I just push ahead with what I’ve got and pretend it’s what I want it to be, because at the end of the day this is a speed trial, and the most important thing is momentum, not where it comes from. And it’s only the first chapter, and the things I’d need to change are pretty minimal to begin with. So all in all, this isn’t looking so bad.
It’s still not what I imagined it was going to be, and I’m wary of writing myself into a corner by not having more of a plan, or by not writing exactly what’s in my head. So I might just do that. I might just write out all the scenes that I do have and then hope that, at some point down the line, I can find a way to string them all together into a coherent story.
I’m still not loving it either, but this is the discipline experiment, so …
After this, I think I’m going to take a break from writing though. I need to explore some other avenues and see if something takes, because much as I love writing, it became a crutch for me a very long time ago and I’m definitely not weaned off it yet. I don’t really want to prevent myself from writing or anything, but I definitely use it as a sort of excuse to not try other things, which tends to be when I find writing the least enjoyable. And I wonder if that’s part of why Camp Nano just isn’t doing it for me, whether it’s less the project itself and more the fact that I’m just pushing myself to be writing again when I could be doing something else.
But it does feel good to have gotten over this hump, whatever I decide to do next. On with the show I guess.