Today, I woke up at 2:20pm or something. Even for me, that’s pretty bad. But I woke up feeling well-rested, which is more than I could say for pretty much every night for the week before that, so I took it as a positive. I then decided to start reading Cinnamon and Gunpowder, and it went so well that I may actually just stay up tonight and finish it. Probably not because I want to continue this trend of actually sleeping at night, but the night is young yet at 1:17am, so we’ll see.
Then I read two of my required readings for the week, mowed the berm, played and quickly got bored of playing World of Warcraft, watched some YouTube, had dinner, tried and failed to find the correct replacement lightbulb for one of the ones that’s died, read some more of Cinnamon and Gunpowder …
And if I hadn’t foolishly decided to start recharging my phone at midnight, I would probably be in bed now, not having done a lot of the things I wanted to do today and thus having to find ways to do them tomorrow.
It’s fucking awesome.
These aren’t things that need to be done, as in not for other people. They’re things that I’m doing for me, and while they’re important, they aren’t really urgent, because there’s no specific due date by which results have to be gained from doing them, unlike, say, study. These are things that I could do any old time, and that’s generally the trap I fall into and end up putting them off, because I could do them any old time – so why is it so important to do them now? It’s not like I can even do all of it, because there’s a lot I want to do.
In the end, that’s generally what walls me off: if I can’t do all of it, then I feel discouraged from doing any of it. But today I realised that, since I’d woken up after 2pm anyway, today was a bit of a “lost cause” in terms of getting shit done. I’d lost prime doing-shit time by waking up so late, and would never be able to make it all up. I’d have to put it off and do it later.
And then I realised that that’s exactly what I want. Because these things that I want to do are the things that I want to do for the rest of my life.
I read some of a book, and I did two readings. That’s two things off my list, three if you count mowing the berm as exercise (which I did, so okay it’s three); I didn’t write, I didn’t fiddle around with video editing software, I didn’t play guitar or sing or draw. I didn’t get everything done.
But then, I don’t want to get everything done. I just want to be doing it. And just like you can be happy in your life without feeling happy every single second, you can be doing things even if you aren’t constantly literally in the act of doing them. You can be in process and not have to be in the act. It still counts.
So that’s what I learnt today, and I suppose that means it goes on the list. Tomorrow I am going to pick something interesting to write and then write it. My mind is wandering back to my “’80s Fantasy” kick from sometime last year – or maybe even the year before – because all good High Fantasy should have an amazing ’80s synth soundtrack. I’m wondering how I can put this into effect in a way that I’d actually enjoy writing about, and literally just as I wrote that I started getting some ideas so, okay, it wasn’t on the list but I’ll count that as well.
I’m glad that this plan of doing things during semester is off to a good start. Start the way you intend to proceed, as they say, or maybe it was just my mother. Good advice either way.