Or rather from the people, as for the past 36-ish hours my house has been without power. We still have water and gas, and just like the best magic systems I do not care nor need to know how it works, just that it works.
And in that intervening time my Dell laptop has proven its worth with a solid 8+ hour battery life, allowing me to do the unthinkable and actually make a plan for this second revision of Tallulah.
Yes, I know, yet another “THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT” post – but seriously, this plan is so incredibly, almost offensively basic, and that’s been the hallmark of all of my plans that have actually succeeded to any degree in the past so, yeah, I’m getting my hopes up and y’all can’t say shit.
In fact I could even make this plan simpler. And this is a beautiful thing, this ability to simplify, and I never would have gotten to this point if I hadn’t thrown paint, the kitchen sink and my entire body at multitudes of brick walls until my instincts took over from my higher cognitive functions and streamlined my planning process to one of minimal adjustments for maximum efficiency. The result is a plan that is so devastatingly simple in its implementation that to think it took me nine months to conceive of it will literally drive me insane if I stop to think about it for any amount of time at all.
But ultimately I am now in a position where I have a clear-cut revision plan that I can execute in, like, a week. And yes, I’ve said that before, too, and no, it’s never actually happened; but that’s not the point. The point is that it could, that the option is there, and perhaps this time will be different.
I also resurrected my monumental, postmodern, high-fantasy, story-less, 13-year work-in-progress by going back to one of the very first versions of it for inspiration, and by transforming the lead character – a shameless author avatar bordering on James Bond levels of unrealistic awesomeness and self-glorification – into a woman instead of a man. Why did that change anything? Why was this change the one that pushed it over the edge from “seriously it will never work” to “holy crap this will totally work”?
I’d prefer not to think about that right now, honestly. I just want to ride the high of having not just one but two huge victories under my belt, two works-in-progress that are actually, like, progressing.
And I can’t help but think that the power going off was somewhat responsible for it all.
Because I couldn’t check facebook every ten seconds, or my stats and pageviews on this blog, or scroll down tumblr for eight hours while wishing I had the self-discipline to study instead – I had to actually manage my time because my laptop was running on battery, and I had to spend like an hour and a half in the car with my dad driving around to get lunch so that we didn’t have to open the fridge and spoil all the food inside it, and because all the lights were out we ate dinner by candlelight and, without a computer to dock myself at, I ended up eating with the family, and all of this human contact and interpersonal interaction … it was very nice. And I think that it must have fed something dormant and got it up and running again, because I’m feeling more productive and in charge than I have in a long time, and in some ways I almost hope that the power stays off.
I mean not really, because that would be terrible, but you know what I mean.
It’s also kind of timely; for the past few days/weeks I’ve been craving human contact but never actually doing anything to look for it, and yesterday I was more or less forced into it, and now I feel so much better. Not only should I probably talk to somebody about that, but it turns out that this craving was something I should have listened to, because it’s just put everything int perspective and stuff is just … better, now.
Power is with people. Each individual person, sure, but I mean people. I need to remember that.
And now that I’m at university to charge my laptop, I should probably do some studying as well.