To the plaaaaaaaannnnnnn ugh why.
I had to go back and change some stuff because it had deviated from the plan. And then kept going and deviated from it again. But also technically stuck to it. I stuck to it enough that it means I’m hitting all the notes I need to hit and not doing anything that takes away from the whole structural thing …
I should have just stuck to the plan. It’s not meant to read like a story at this point. But whatever. It’s fine. Just more time-consuming, because it’s meaning I’m spending more time writing new words and less time stringing together disparate fragments of narrative into a new one, which is the main goal. I’ll make it up tomorrow.
The essay-writing also starts tomorrow. The only essay I’ve needed the full five days to write has been the one I spent 4 days trying to formulate my own question for, so I’m not that worried. That’s a lie; I’ve been worried all day, but I’m taking the opportunity now to calm down about it. I’m more worried about the fact that my documentary paper is passing me by and I’m really behind on definitions of key terms that I’ll need to, like, pass. So I should get onto that. Lots of catching up to do.
It seems that’s always the way – and it isn’t, but it happens a lot. I delegate a lot of my work to my future self, and he’s kind of … imaginary. And it works out about as well as that usually does.
But I can’t say it’s not going well. The revision is happening, even if I’m complaining about how it’s happening. At least there’s something to complain about. I kind of think of my complaining as a tired baby: just let it tire itself out and then chill while you have the chance. There’s no point trying to reason with a tired baby, and I’m tired as hell. I’ve been tired for half the day. I’m really not a morning person.
Hopefully I can get to the 50% mark with revision by Sunday, and catch up with all the lectures I’ve missed, and learn those key terms, and maybe read Catching Fire. But if not, I got some stuff done today, and it’s here, recorded, and it’s done, and that’s what it’s all about.