Don’t you just love it when you realise that the cool bit of backstory you’d made up to make things interesting in your main story might actually work really well if you instead put it into the main story, given that you’re going to be changing a whole bunch of stuff anyway?
And then you start feeling sick because you feel like you’d be writing a whole new story if you did that in a way, and suddenly the idea of going back to university just to take a break seems really appealing, just to buy time, and hey, maybe that is a good idea, and so is the shifting of backstory into main story, it’s just that you need to take the time to let it all settle down a bit, and don’t you owe it to yourself to make this story as good as it possibly can be even if that takes like twenty years, so you wanted to get it sent off to be published this year, big deal, plans change, life is like that, isn’t it better to get it done right than get it done quickly, always keep your options open, no such thing as too much learning …
Don’t you just love that?
It’s like being punched in the stomach. I feel really ill at the prospect, because it feels like everything I’ve written up to this point would be invalidated by introducing that element, but it could work amazingly well. It’s an exciting prospect, because it does change the story – and in some sense, makes it more like what it should be about.
But ‘should’ is a very dangerous word to use. Because I’ve spent over a year with one idea of this story, and bringing in this change would be reimagining it quite a bit. It would fit within the framework, but it would also cause it to change in response to it.
This went down in the tangential notes, of course, and I’m going to let it sit there until I’m well and truly done with this revision and can move onto making a storyboard or whatever it’s called when you do that sort of thing for a book. A plot-map perhaps.
It also feels exciting, but there is no physiological difference between excitement and fear anyway. It’s all psychological. And I feel psychologically drained.
It is a radical idea, and that frightens me, because it really does change the game – perhaps too much. But perhaps in just the right way.
I don’t know.
And it’s like 3:14am right now, so probably not the best time to be considering it either.
Being a writer does not give you an easy ride.
But it is a good one. Even now, being really rattled and uncomfortable and trying not to pay too much attention to this new version of my story, in case it distracts me from the one I’m trying to critique.
Ahhh. It is nice to think of the opportunities this opens up, though.
Why did I make this stupid chapter so long …